Grief
A Different Christmas
After much anticipation, Christmas arrived. Yesterday I kept myself busy cooking and baking and delivering goodies. I made my mom’s Christmas bread which she made every year. This year I was on my own. I asked her for help particularly to determine if the dough was the right consistency. It did turn out a little […]
God’s Present
I have been trying to stay in a positive mindset over the past couple days even as I seem to be very emotional. I have decided to just let the tears flow and perhaps at some point they will go dry. I have been listening to Advent music while I make yummy treats. The lyrics […]
Tiny Tree
When I started thinking about decorating the house for Christmas, I knew I didn’t want to display the same artificial tree that I have put up for the past 10 years. My parents enjoyed it as it was pre-lit and rotated so you could admire all the decorations. I enjoyed it too for several years. […]
The Madrigals
Last night my sister and I attended the Madrigal Banquet and I have been pondering it all day. It was held at a castle nestled back against the foothills, which belonged to one of the founders of the city. It had many technologically advanced features for the time such as an elevator and a steam […]
Sharing Mom’s Memories
A few days ago I sent out Christmas cards and notes to everyone on my mom’s list. Honestly, I couldn’t remember exactly who I talked to after she died. So, I had to break the news to those who we only heard from once or twice a year now. Today I received a text from […]
Painful Yet Productive
Since we had the floors replaced in my parents’ room, we decided it was the time to sort through everything in there. Some of the items were painful memories of my dad’s time in the memory care center. Getting things ready to donate was also a sorrowful reminder that my mother is no longer here. […]
Worship in Music
Today at Mass, the offertory hymn got me teary eyed – so much so that I couldn’t sing any more. I tried to remember the hymn, but not surprisingly, I can’t. It was about offering what we have to Christ. The last verse was something to the effect of giving God our final breath after […]
Future Letter
Today I was updating and clearing out some things in my computer. I came across a letter that I had written to myself 2 years ago after my father died. It was a letter of encouragement. I don’t remember writing the letter at all, but that isn’t really surprising. I’m sure it was an exercise […]
Best at the Time
I still struggle with thoughts that I could have done better for my mom and my dad. Today, a friend sent me a reflection that said in part: I have acted in the best way I could at a given time, and many times it was more than anyone could reasonably expect. In fact, some […]
Keep Me In Your Heart
A friend of mine and her family invited a gentleman to live with them 8 years ago. At the time, he was suffering from COPD and living on his own in a small house in a rough part of town. The doctors said he had about 18 months to live. He had no living family […]
Still Finding God 