I started my day off a little unsettled. I allowed negative thoughts and past hurts get into my head. Once they are there, I have a hard time shaking them off. So I looked forward to going to church and praying that God would get me on the right track. Unfortunately, my parents did not feel up to going to Mass today, so I went by myself. I sat up close to the front as that helps me to stay engaged and focused. The first reading from Joshua described how the Israelites were tempted to follow the gods of the Amorites as it looked more appealing to them. Joshua reminded the people how good God had been to them by leading them out of slavery and into the land He promised to them. They had all their needs met – but some of them wanted more. Joshua gave them the opportunity to make their choice. This scripture has one of the most popular lines that you see on plaques and things – “As for me and my household, we shall serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. The second reading was from Ephesians 5:21-32. It is one of the more controversial scriptures as it starts with wives being subordinate to their husbands. But the reading goes on to explain how husbands should treat their wives – they should love them as they love themselves. The priest explained that both these readings are all about choosing to love. Love is more than a “feeling” – it is a choice to serve others – to put their needs before your own. The one line that stood out to me most when he was speaking was, “To love is to serve and to serve is to love.” It helped me to see my past hurts and my current situation in a different light. The reality is that painful actions from others were unloving choices that they made. I cannot control what choices other people make, but I can control how I choose to love. God has always supplied what I need, even though sometimes I want more – just like the Israelites. I need to be reminded every now and again of that fact and choose again to serve the Lord by loving and serving others.
I Found God today in being able to give my negative thoughts over to God at church and gaining a renewed sense of how to love.