Today as I was going through things on my computer, I came across a video that I made with my mom several years ago. A flood of emotions rushed over, into, and out of me. First, I was sad and missed her tremendously. As I watched, I realized how much she suffered and for such a long time. I watched myself and saw how patient I could be with her. With that, I tried to push out the negative thoughts and memories of all the struggling that also seeped in. I was grateful for the time I had with her, regardless of the circumstances. And I tried to forgive myself again for my shortcomings and reminded myself again that I did the best I could. Overall, though, the video was a treasure and I was glad that instead of turning it off immediately, I could watch the whole thing and experience whatever came up. Grieving and healing is a process.

I Found God today remembering time with my mom.