I have been listening to a podcast based on a retreat by St. Ignatius. This morning I listened to a meditation based on the beginning of the Passion of Christ. The scripture passage Matthew 26:36-46 was the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus asked his apostles to stay awake while he prayed, but they could not. He was in agony as He knew the time was coming for Him to be crucified. Jesus could have made it all stop and avoided the suffering, but instead He chose to follow through with God’s Holy and perfect plan. He went back to His friends 3 times and asked them to stay awake with him, but they were unable to. After listening to the account, the reflection was Jesus asking if I would stay with Him? As I pondered this, I thought of my mom. I’m sure my mom would want to end her suffering. Yet, she makes it through each day – one at a time. She also doesn’t want to be alone during this time, so my sister and I make sure she never is. As I agreed to stay with Jesus, I realized I was agreeing to stay with my mom. I can’t change much, I can’t fix much, but I can be here for her and with her.
I Found God today staying with my mom.
Still Finding God 
Oh how I Love this Tammy. I can relate so much. Altho I didn’t live w/my Dad as he progressed over the last years of his life, I knew what a Care he was . Dad had Dementia as well altho not to the extent as your Mom from what I read in your words. He didn’t lose his memory at all altho he talked of his past a lot. He called me on the phone all the time could communicate clearly and do things on his own. He did have a colostomy bag and used a walker and a lift recliner. Even so he was still a lot of care. I am forever grateful to My Dearest Step Mom fir the Loving, Gentle care she gave my Dad. She was So Wonderful, loving, caring in every way to my Dad and it certainly wasn’t easy on her. Endless meds, changing his colostomy bag, cleaning etc the falls he would take, meal preps on and on. He was always scared he would be put in a nursing home My Stepmom Vowed fervently NEVER . He had such a Wonderful sense of humor his entire life and right up to the end of life. I am Thankful for that. He was on hospice care only a couple months b/f he passed and even tho we knew his time was near, it was SO very heartbreaking! I Miss him more than I have ever missed anyone. I also have the hope of seeing him again w/Everlasting life. I Love reading your blogs and I’m So impressed w/your caring, thoughtful, loving ways w/your Mom. I know it’s very difficult as well. You are right You are where you belong w/your Mom. My Prayers and Love being sent to You, Your Sweet Mom and family. God Bless You Tammy! 💖💖💖
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Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and kind words, Paula! I certainly do appreciate it! I am glad your father was blessed with good care. There is consolation in that for sure. Peace!
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