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Jesus You Take Over

Posted by eph21920 on March 5, 2024 in Faith, Family, Jesus, Prayer, Struggles

I wish so badly that I could alleviate all my mom’s suffering. Truth is I can’t. Nor can the doctors or nurses or people who come to help. Neither can the medications that were created by incredibly knowledgeable people. This morning’s meditation on part of the surrender novena spoke to my heart. Jesus said, “Does a patient become worse? Don’t be frightened, close your eyes and say, ‘Jesus, you take over’. I tell you again, I will indeed do it for you, and there is no medicine more powerful than my loving intervention.”

I Found God today closing my eyes and saying, “Jesus you take over.”

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Grateful for Help

Posted by eph21920 on March 4, 2024 in Uncategorized

We had another sleepless night last night. First thing this morning I was able to talk with our Hospice nurse and we decided on a new medication strategy. Then I got a call from our caregiver company that our normal person wouldn’t be able to make it this afternoon. They did send a replacement for the day who was amazing with my mom. She was so knowledgeable and kind while being strong and confident. She just took charge while I tried to get some rest. I am grateful for Hospice and caregiver help.

I Found God today in people who help us care for mom.

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How To Surrender

Posted by eph21920 on March 3, 2024 in Answer, Faith, Jesus, Life, Prayer

The theme for the reflections and stories I have been listening to during Lent is surrendering to God. It includes the prayer, “Jesus, I surrender my life to you. Take care of everything.” Today I have been praying  about what it looks like exactly to surrender to God. I take the time I can, I listen, I say the prayers – I actually started saying the surrender prayer a couple years ago. But what does that mean? Am I supposed to make no decisions at all or do anything proactive? How do I make decisions on what is best for my mom? Then I had an epiphany based on an earlier reflection. God may not tell me exactly what to do, but He is in the options and decisions. This means that I can pray about what to do, make the best loving, caring decision at the time, and trust that Jesus is still taking care of everything. No matter what I choose, Jesus is still present. He is still working for our greater good. He won’t stop.

I Found God today in an epiphany about His care.

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Ah Massage

Posted by eph21920 on March 2, 2024 in Grateful, Life, Rest

After several nights of very little sleep, I was grateful to get a massage this afternoon. I went to a guy I had been to before, but it had been a pretty long time. He had a very different touch than the last couple people I had seen. I guess I forgot how each person has their own technique. And he seemed to intuitively get right into those areas that are so bothersome. When I was done, I felt both invigorated and like a wet noodle. For me, getting a massage on a regular basis is so necessary to keep my body functioning and I really enjoy it. I am grateful that I am able to care for myself in this way.

I Found God today in an invigorating massage.

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Help With Anxiety

Posted by eph21920 on March 1, 2024 in Answer, Faith, Family, Friends, Grateful, Struggles

My mother had a very challenging afternoon. Even with additional medications, she was anxious and distressed. It made me sad because yesterday I was feeling relieved that she was happier. That’s just how it goes. I was very grateful that a caregiver was here this afternoon. At one point she read today’s reflection from Jesus Calling out loud to my mom. The first sentence was, “When something in your in your life or thoughts makes you anxious, come to me and talk about it.” She told my mom that God was talking right to her and read the rest of the paragraph. We’re so blessed to have this compassionate, kind, faithful young woman as part of mom’s care.

I Found God today in an amazing caregiver.

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Just Happier

Posted by eph21920 on February 29, 2024 in Family, Grateful, Happiness, Struggles

We have been having a difficult time managing medications for my mom. One drug will cause unwanted side effects, then another would be added or increased to counter act that. And there are many medications that interact with the Parkinson’s disease and that specific medication. I am certainly not a fan of adding more and more into my poor mom’s body. This week we made a change that seems to be effective so far. For the past several days, she has been happier. She still rummages, wanders, and is somewhat impulsive and anxious. But my hope is that if we continue down this new path, she will be able to experience more relief. For now, we are grateful that she is in a better mood and even acknowledges that she feels better.

I Found God today in my happier mom.

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Mistake or Grace

Posted by eph21920 on February 28, 2024 in Answer, Faith, Family, Life, Plan, Problem, Struggles, Trust

I admit I do have a problem with trying to be perfect. When I was younger, I thought if I made a mistake, that meant I wasn’t good enough. Now, however, especially caring for my mom, I don’t want to do anything that will harm her, or make the situation worse. Today in the continued story of Fr. Walter Ciszek, a particular quote struck my heart, “I was no longer afraid of making a “mistake”, since God’s will was behind every development and every alternative.” This is a great thought for me to keep in mind as I continuously work on trusting in God’s perfect will and plan.

I Found God today seeing mistakes as grace.

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Sharing Good News

Posted by eph21920 on February 27, 2024 in Bible, Faith, Friends, Generosity, Jesus, Love, Service, Teacher

Some of our friends are what I consider to be missionaries. They recently returned from a trip in a foreign country and came over this afternoon to share photos and stories. While they were there, they visited some schools where they taught English, helped the teachers to teach the language, and helped with projects. At the same time, they helped to introduce the students to Jesus and the Scriptures. Most of the people were very poor and even the schools lacked the simple necessities such as desks, chairs and supplies. Our friends provided what they could and the classes were overjoyed when they received a hand crank pencil sharpener. It’s hard to imagine that kind of poverty. Yet they were joyful, generous with what they had, and extremely grateful. They witnessed first hand what Jesus asks of his disciples – go and spread the Good News.

I Found God today in my friends sharing His love.

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Failure Equals Grace

Posted by eph21920 on February 26, 2024 in Answer, Faith, Grace, Priest, Struggles

I have been enjoying listening to the Lenten reflections on the Hallow app. It is based on the book He Leadeth Me by Fr. Walter Ciszek. He was a priest during the cold war and desired to minister to the people in Russia. When he was younger he would push himself to his physical and mental limits. This served him well when he was arrested and placed in solitary confinement in the most feared prison in Russia. However, even with all his preparation, strength, discipline, and faith, he eventually broke and signed a confession to false charges. This left him at his lowest point and he questioned himself and God. But, then he began to see things in a different light. He realized that all the trials that led up to that point were in fact moments of great grace. He understood that he had still been relying on himself instead of fully relying on God. He said, “… that moment of failure was in itself  a moment of great grace, for it had taught me a great lesson. Severe as the test had been, God had sustained me and was now instructing me by the light of his grace.” I look forward to hearing what happens next.

I Found God today in a stark reminder of the necessity to fully rely on God.

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Keeping Busy

Posted by eph21920 on February 25, 2024 in Answer, Family, Happiness, Life

Today at lunch, my mom was talking about driving – how she hadn’t driven for a long time, and never driven the newest car. She wanted to go out and give it a try. I thought it might be a good idea to take her for a ride. She liked the idea too and was able to make her way down the 3 stairs in the garage. As we were out, we stopped by my son’s house. He and his wife and their kids all came outside for a little visit. They took turns sitting in the car to visit with my mom. They went car shopping a couple weeks ago and bought a new car and my grandson bought a new truck. I think the ride and seeing the new cars fulfilled my mom’s brief car obsession. She took a short nap after that and when she got up, she headed to the kitchen to make pizza. I told her that I didn’t have all the ingredients to make pizza, but did have what we needed to make a jello dessert, so we made that instead. That quenched her cooking desire. Before dinner, she wanted to get her pajamas on and have a pajama party. So, we all got our pajamas on. Our party consisted of dinner, prayers, dessert, Yahtzee, coloring, and bedtime stretches. It was a good day keeping mom busy and happy. My sister and I are praying for sleep tonight.

I Found God today keeping my mom busy and happy.

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