Psalm 46:11 “Be still and know that I am God.” This verse has been very meaningful to me for many years. Tonight was particularly challenging and I remembered this Psalm. It was a reminder that He is God, that I am not, and that He has everything under control for our good.
I Found God today in His reminder that He is God and in control.
We celebrated my sister’s birthday today with a virtual painting party. Some family came over and other friends and family joined via Zoom. Everyone had a canvas, brushes, and a lots of different colored paints. The instructor on Zoom guided us through how to paint the picture, which was an abstract water and mountain scene with a flourescent swirled sky. I think part of what made it so fun was that it wasn’t meant to look real, just beautiful. Everyone’s picture was similar but different. My granddaughter decided to go on her own and painted a rainbow with clouds and a rainy background. It was beautiful as well. I helped my mom paint hers and she did a great job too. She was pretty tired the rest of the day. Having the painting party was such a fun way to get together and celebrate my sister.
I Found God today getting together with family, using my creative mind, and helping my mom to do the same.
I listened to a meditation today based on Matthew 26:6-10. It was about a woman who anointed Jesus with expensive oil while he was at dinner with several apostles and others. The meditation describes the woman as someone filled with gratitude and love for Jesus. It was suggested that her life was changed by Jesus, perhaps He healed her. She was responding in the best way that she possibly could by bringing the most extravagant thing she own and giving it to Jesus. At the end of the meditation was a prayer asking God for the courage and strength to love completely unselfishly – to give all to the One who gives us all. I was reminded again of my own personal healing and how I should be responding in grateful love to the Lord. I realized how much work I have to do in this area and appreciated the prayer for courage and strength.
I Found God today in a grateful, loving response to Him.
Yesterday I had an opportunity to share my story of going to Lourdes, healing, and personal faith. It reminded me of how much God loves me and cares for me, even when I doubt or struggle, or even turn away. I got choked up telling the story again, remembering the incredible spirituality of the place as if it were yesterday. It was an overwhelming feeling I experienced as a child that I still find difficult to put into words. I will always be grateful for the faith my mom had to bring me to Lourdes and for the grace that God showered upon us both while we were there. I pondered that encounter for much of the day today. It was a blessing to ground me in God’s presence.
I Found God today remembering how I encountered Him as a child.
My grandson has always been interested in photography and movie making. When he was a child he would make race tracks about of cardboard and use his Hot Wheels cars to make stop motion videos. After we got together a couple weeks ago, I gave him my old electronic Minolta camera to play with. Then we discovered my dad’s old fully manual Olympus cameras were still here stowed away. My brother had added some of his equipment to the mix as well. After discussing with the family, it was decided that my grandson could have them. He came over today and we went through 2 bags of camera equipment including cameras, lenses, flashes, and other accessories. We played with them for a while and he looked up how to work them. I think it’s wonderful that you can get that kind of information so easily. My grandson happily took the bags with him when he left and was excited to try them out. He mentioned how great it was that this interest and equipment has been in the family for so long. It was a blessing for me to share this interest of photography with both my dad and my grandson.
I Found God today sharing a common interest with my dad and grandson.
It is hard to see my mom struggling to play the piano, especially since it has been her favorite thing to do since she was 6 years old. She does have good days, but most end in frustration. Today her friend came over. We have missed her for 3 weeks for various reasons. After visiting, they took to the pianos. It didn’t take long before my mom was right into it. She kept up for the most part and it sounded wonderful. It was interesting that it was most difficult for her when she had a couple of measures of a solo. But when they played together, it just seemed to click for her. They played 2 pieces really well. She wanted to try a third, but she was spent by that time. I loved hearing them play and my mom felt good about how she did. It was a blessing for us all.
I Found God today in my mom’s piano playing.
Several people reached out to me after yesterday’s blog. Most are or were caring for their parent(s). Connecting with others helps to not feel alone, especially when they understand the difficulties. I find it so interesting that people suffering from dementia display such similar struggles, thoughts, and behaviors – regardless of their specific diagnosis. Caregivers have different ways of responding to them. And different things work for different people. I have found that even if something works right now, it may not in 5 minutes. It’s an exhausting rollercoaster for everyone. I am in awe of all caregivers. They maintain commitment and perseverance like no other. I am grateful for the encouragement and prayers that I received and feel very blessed indeed. And I feel I’m able to reciprocate by keeping others in my prayers.
I Found God today grateful for connection and encouragement.
As my mom’s dementia progresses, I feel like I have to be prepared for anything. Last night was my turn to “sleep” in her room with her. Thankfully, my sister and I trade off every night. Too early this morning, she started yelling for my dad. She sat straight up and said something happened to him and she had to call the police. This happened once before and it took us over an hour to calm her down. This time I was immediately by her side, held her hand and told her Dad was in Heaven. At first she wouldn’t take that for an answer. Then her body relaxed and she said she remembered. I sat with her until she said she was ok. She apologized for waking me up and went back to sleep. I myself have had nightmares about my father’s death, but it is worse to see her so upset. I was grateful this episode was quickly resolved. I dozed and prayed. When I got up a couple hours later and went out to the living room, there was a pink glow coming from the windows. The sunrise was beautiful. I felt it was God’s morning reminder that He remains with us no matter the circumstances. I opened the blinds so I could see the colors change as I did my morning stretches. By the time my mom got up for the day, I was energized and grateful and she had no recollection of the previous events.
I Found God today in His morning.
My mom read the reflection in “Jesus Calling” this evening. I thought it was very profound with vivid imagery. This is what it said:
“I am like a supersaturated cloud, showering Peace into the pool of your mind.”
I would like to remember this quote when I feel overly stressed.
I Found God today imagining my mind being showered in peace.
Today is my sister’s birthday. Yesterday my mom picked out a cute card for her. I went out this morning and got her some flowers, sushi lunch, and Bundt cake. It was the best ways I could think of to celebrate her and appreciate her. She moved in a little over a year ago. It was pretty rough for a while, I think more stressful than either of us anticipated. But she has stuck around and we have worked out a pretty good routine. At the same time, I feel we have come to a better understanding of one another. We have had a pretty close relationship since we were kids and shared a bedroom and I’m glad we have been able to maintain that. I am grateful that she is still here and gave the time and energy to get things settled.
I Found God today in my relationship with my sister.
Still Finding God 