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A Real Shower

We found out that the Hospice CNA who was coming to help mom is unfortunately no longer working for the company. So, today the nurse on call came. Lately mom has been getting a bed bath as she so unstable to get in and out of the shower. The nurse brought my mom back to her bathroom and when she saw the shower, said she really wanted to try to get mom in there. Mom agreed to give it a go. I helped the nurse get my mom situated and was amazed at her ability to move her into the shower. From there, I took the time to do what I needed. When she was finished, mom was all clean, lotioned, dressed, teeth brushed, lipstick on, and even hair styled. The nurse said mom must have been feeling strong because she did great. It was good for my mom to have a real shower. It was even better that an experienced nurse helped her.

I Found God today in the nurse who helped my mom have a real shower.

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Relax the Back

Recently, my mom has been requiring more hands on assistance to get from one place to another. As I find myself more tired I haven’t been making the time to do the exercising that I should be doing. All of that has taken a toll on my back. I have been trying to take care of it on my own, but this morning I woke up in a tremendous amount of pain and both legs were tingling down to my feet. I called the place where I usually get a massage and they had some automated texting system instead of speaking to a real person. I didn’t want to play that game. My son’s girlfriend became a massage therapist not too long ago. She got a space that she shares and also works for a couple other organizations. I gave her a call and hoped for the best. She got back to me and happened to be available at the same time I was. I thanked God. While she worked on my back, I tried my best to relax, but it was hurting pretty bad. When she was finished, I was able to move better and the tingling has subsided. I think it’s going to take a little more to work it all out, but I’m hopeful and made another appointment with her. I was so grateful that she made the time to help me.

I Found God today getting help for my painful back.

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Friends From Afar

Tonight was my prayer group meeting. We all saw each other yesterday at the funeral, but kept our regular meeting anyways. One of the ladies had moved to another state and had been joining our sessions via Zoom. It was good to see her in person again. Another woman came to the group for some time, but didn’t continue. I was happy she came as well to add to the discussion. We prayed especially for our friend whose husband had just died. And we prayed for all those sick and suffering as we approach the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. I feel very blessed that this group is a part of my life.

I Found God today praying with friends.

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Reaching For Heaven

A friend of mine in my prayer group had been battling cancer. He started on Hospice Care 10 months ago. He was a very faithful man and I always enjoyed what he had to share in our sessions. While he was on the quiet side, I knew that when he spoke, his words would be meaningful and worth contemplating. He went home to the Lord last week and his funeral was today. His daughter shared a beautiful testimony of his faith-filled life and the legacy he leaves behind with his family. One comment that struck me was that her dad put God first. Because of that, there was plenty of love for his wife, children, and grandchildren. Later, his wife told me about an incident that occured just a few hours before his death. He sat straight up in the bed, reached out his arms, and was looking beyond her. He was ready to get up and go with his legs over the bed. She and the family tried to get him back in bed, but they couldn’t move him. They had to actually call for assistance. After that, his breathing changed and he passed away shortly thereafter. He died as he lived – reaching for Heaven. It was a beautiful image that emulated hope. That is what my friend always wanted to share – the hope and love of Jesus Christ. I was glad the prayer group was there and that we were all able to be together, laugh, cry, and pray together for our beautiful friend.

I Found God today as my friend reached Heaven.

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Fortitude

In a meditation that I listened to today, the statement that hit my heart was about prayer. “Do not pray for easy lives – pray to be stronger. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your tasks.” This is, after all, what I should be praying for. Not to make things, situations different, but for the ability to preserve in the tasks God has given me.

I Found God today in prayer guidance.

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No Room

Last night I saw a video of a woman who died when she went over a waterfall kayaking. She said at that moment she was given a choice to follow God or not. She chose to accept God’s will no matter the outcome. Her experience of life after death was fascinating and heart wrenching at the same time. What struck me most was her statement that when you are in God’s presence, there is no room for any negative thoughts or feelings such as guilt, regret, fear, etc. God’s immense love permeates and replaces anything contradictory to Him. I pondered that for a while and thought how wonderful that would be. It may not be completely possible on this side of Heaven, but I can try to remember this and allow Him in just a little more when I am experiencing negative thoughts.

I Found God today reminded of His immense loving presence.

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Stay With Me

I have been listening to a podcast based on a retreat by St. Ignatius. This morning I listened to a meditation based on the beginning of the Passion of Christ. The scripture passage Matthew 26:36-46 was the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus asked his apostles to stay awake while he prayed, but they could not. He was in agony as He knew the time was coming for Him to be crucified. Jesus could have made it all stop and avoided the suffering, but instead He chose to follow through with God’s Holy and perfect plan. He went back to His friends 3 times and asked them to stay awake with him, but they were unable to. After listening to the account, the reflection was Jesus asking if I would stay with Him? As I pondered this, I thought of my mom. I’m sure my mom would want to end her suffering. Yet, she makes it through each day – one at a time. She also doesn’t want to be alone during this time, so my sister and I make sure she never is. As I agreed to stay with Jesus, I realized I was agreeing to stay with my mom. I can’t change much, I can’t fix much, but I can be here for her and with her.

I Found God today staying with my mom.

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Knew My Struggles

It’s been a rough week. Yesterday I met with a counselor who has been helping me work through my challenges of caregiving and grieving. As I thought about my dad and as I do my best to care for my mom, there are many ways that I wish I could do better – be a better person. Being perfect would be great. I realize that is not the human condition, but it is a real struggle for me. When I checked the mail in the afternoon, I received an envelope from a friend who never sends me mail. I opened it to find she had sent me an article that she wanted me to have. Not only was it thoughtful, it was just what I needed. It started with the words, “There’s no way you can love until you forgive yourself for not being perfect, for not being the saint you thought you were going to be.” I teared up immediately. The article was encouraging and ended with a prayer. The last line was, “Create a loving heart within me.” It was as if God heard me and sent the article directly to me at the exact time I needed it.

I Found God today in an incredibly timely letter of encouragement.

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Many Reminders

As I was driving to an appointment this morning, I saw the moon setting behind the mountain. It was such a beautiful scene that was almost identical to what I saw 2 years ago when my dad entered Hospice Care in the hospital. The first morning I went to see him, I opened the blinds in his room and there was the moon ready to touch the mountain peak. That was a photo my dad always wanted to get. He was non- responsive at that point, but I told him about it. I felt it was God’s little reminder that He was still with us. It’s been a rough few days. Seeing the same scene this morning brought back the reminder of God’s presence.

Also… A friend’s husband passed away a couple months and today’s Mass intention was for him. I invited her to meet at Panera before Mass. I told my friend I was going to get a blueberry scone, but then changed my mind last second and ordered a pecan bear claw instead. As we visited, she said she tries to envision her husband with his people there in Heaven, but wasn’t sure if that was even right or where he actually was. Then she told me that when they were still able to go to church together, they would meet with some friends afterwards. They went to Panera and her husband would always get a pecan bear claw. It was another small way that God was saying He is present. Mass was beautiful and my friend received a blessing from the priest.

I Found God today in so many small reminders that He is with us and I feel especially blessed.

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Many Talents

This morning my mom’s regular CNA was out, so another girl came in. She was wonderful, as they all are. She said she used to be a Hospice nurse for many years, but it started to be too difficult for her as she would form such close relationships with the patients, then lose them. She worked for a hospital now and would fill in when Hospice needed someone. She enjoyed the fast paced atmosphere at the hospital. At the same time, she said it helped her appreciate life. She said since the age of twelve years old, she was volunteering at nursing homes and knew this was her calling. Mom’s nurse also came over for her visit this morning. She told us about her aunt who was blind and struggling with dementia as well. The woman was living in a “Host Home”, which I had never heard of before. The owner of the house has two people living with her who she cares for full time. That was amazing to me. I remembered a friend who also cares for two additional people in her home as she raised her family. I have an enormous amount of respect for her. We compared it to Foster families, which also amaze me. The nurse told of a friend of hers who did foster care and adopted a child. Even though it didn’t work out with all the kids, for that child his whole life was changed – as was everyone who would come in contact with him. Later this afternoon, a parish priest came over to visit and pray with my mom. He was so kind and calming as he reminded mom of God’s promises for Heaven. As I reflected on my day this evening, I was aware of all the different types of people that have the capability and talents to do such different things with their lives. It verified to me that when we are following God’s plan, we make huge impacts in the lives of other people. It doesn’t matter if we think that what we do is small, or unnoticed. If we are with God, what we do will make a difference.

I Found God today in people using their talents for the benefit of others.