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Carrying Her Cross

This morning my mom wasn’t feeling very well at all. She surprised me by saying she felt like she was carrying her cross. I agreed. We talked about how everyone has their cross to carry as they make their way home to God. When I got in the car to go to church, I heard the song “Run to the Father” by Matt Maher. The lyrics at the beginning were:

I’ve carried a burden
For too long on my own
I wasn’t created
To bear it alone
I hear Your invitation
To let it all go
I see it now
I’m laying it down
I know that I need You

I felt God was reminding me that we are never carrying our crosses alone and I was very grateful.

I Found God today reminded that He always helps us carry our cross.

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Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Due to our lack of sleep, we decided to hire overnight caregivers. The first one came a couple nights ago. At the same time, we discovered that my mom was in tremendous pain. We did everything we knew to do, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. I called the Hospice company who sent a nurse over to assess her. In the meantime, the new caregiver came. I showed her around and introduced her to my mom. We all listened to the advice of the nurse and added a stronger painkiller to my mom’s regimen. My brother has been staying here for a while to help out. With all 3 of us now needing a place to sleep, we had to do a little rearranging and slept in the places that we thought would work best. Unfortunately, it was a rough night for us all. I felt bad that my sister didn’t get the sleep she needed. The new caregiver had quite an eventful night as well. Also, as we added the new medication, I didn’t get the rest of the the meds administered quite right. I felt so bad that my mom was still suffering. I spoke to our Hospice nurse the next day and got it straightened out. My brother had words of wisdom that struck me:  Don’t beat yourself up for not getting it right the first time. His honesty, encouragement and support was much needed and appreciated.

I Found God today in my brother’s words of wisdom.

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Aqua Net

This morning the hospice nurse and CNA were here at the same time. We got on the topic of hair care. The CNA said her grandmother’s hair was and still is very thick. She asked her how she managed to keep her beehive hairdos and such in place when she was younger. Her grandmother replied with a prayer, bobby pins, and a lot of Aqua Net. We all laughed. It reminded me of my mom’s story of her haircut. She helped to recall it. When she was younger, her friend was cutting other friend’s hair, so my mom decided to do it too. Her friend put her hair in pincurls, then cut each one to the same length. When she was finished, my mom’s long curled locks were gone. She was afraid of her mother’s reaction, so she went to her best friend’s house first. Her best friend also happened to be my dad’s sister. Their mother looked at my mom’s hair and said that her mother was going to kill her. When she got up enough courage to go home, she found that her mother was not as upset as she anticipated. My mom kept her hair short ever since.

I Found God today in a couple of lighthearted hair stories.

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God Will Sustain

I saw a quote today that was very relevant especially as we continue to chase sleep:

I am He who sustains you. Psalm 46:4

I Found God today reminded that He will sustain me.

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Where’s Your Mom

Every night after dinner we say our prayers. We pray for and remember all our loved ones, those we promised to pray for and those most in need. Tonight as we were thinking of people, my mom said we should pray for my mom. She asked where my mom was. I said she was  right next to me sitting in the wheelchair. Suddenly she realized it was her. She flicked her hand and started laughing. And she agreed we needed to pray for her. It was a good, fun laugh.

I Found God today laughing with my mom.

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Building From God

I found today’s scripture reading from 2 Corinthians particularly relevant, hopeful, and encouraging. It said in part;


Therefore, we are not discouraged;
rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction
is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen;
for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal.
For we know that if our earthly dwelling, a tent, should be destroyed, we have a building from God, a dwelling not made with hands, eternal in heaven.

I Found God today in His encouraging promise.

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A Break

I have been getting very little sleep lately and had pretty much hit the proverbially wall. Today I was grateful that my sister cared for my mom all day so I could have a break. I tried to nap, but slept less than I would have liked. I’m hoping sleep will come tonight.

I Found God today being able to take a break.

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Recognized Caregiver

One of the caregivers who comes a couple times a week is a truly wonderful young woman. She is super attentive, kind, and gentle with my mom. And I really enjoy talking with her. When the company came to review how things were going, I gave her the highest praise. Today when she got here, she said that she spoke with her company today and they were recognizing her as one of their outstanding caregivers. She said she was crying on the phone with them as she has worked for many different organizations for several years and has never been recognized for her work. I was so happy for her and agreed that she certainly deserved the credit.

I Found God today in the joy of a wonderful young woman.

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D-Day Prayer

A friend of mine shared the prayer that President Roosevelt read on D-Day, June 6, 1944. I thought it was a powerful reminder of a time in this country when we welcomed prayer.

Text of Radio Address – Prayer on D-Day, June 6, 1944:
“My fellow Americans: Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer:

Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our Nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity.

Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph.

They will be sore tried, by night and by day, without rest-until the victory is won. The darkness will be rent by noise and flame. Men’s souls will be shaken with the violences of war.

For these men are lately drawn from the ways of peace. They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate. They fight to let justice arise, and tolerance and good will among all Thy people. They yearn but for the end of battle, for their return to the haven of home.

Some will never return. Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom.

And for us at home — fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas — whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them–help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice.

Many people have urged that I call the Nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking Thy help to our efforts.

Give us strength, too — strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.

And let our hearts be stout, to wait out the long travail, to bear sorrows that may come, to impart our courage unto our sons wheresoever they may be.

And, O Lord, give us Faith. Give us Faith in Thee; Faith in our sons; Faith in each other; Faith in our united crusade. Let not the keenness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogancies. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister Nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all of men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.

Thy will be done, Almighty God.

Amen.”

I Found God today in a beautiful prayer with and for our country.

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Bird Conversations

I was blessed to get my mom outside for quite a while this morning. It was the perfect temperature for her – 80 degrees in the shade. She didn’t even have to wear a sweater or jacket. We admired the blooming flowers, especially the neighbor’s peonies that just started popping open. There was a lot of activity going on as well. Cars were driving by, people were walking and some had dogs. We saw a couple airplanes and butterflies. There were also a lot of birds flying from tree to tree and singing in the branches. At one point, 2 magpies flew into the yard across the street. They were very vocal with their loud squawks. Then I noticed a couple of robins were sharing the space and were chirping away. I pointed this out to my mom. She said they all had to get in on the conversation. I suppose she was right. I am so grateful when we are able to get outside for a while.

I Found God today enjoying the outdoors.