My brother arrived last night for a visit. My mom had already gone to bed and had not seen him. She had a near sleepless night again and was super tired when she got up. When we came out of the bedroom, she said hello to him and my sister without any other response. During breakfast, my mom suddenly looked up at my brother, smiled, and said, “Oh Timothy!” in a happy and surprised voice. It was a fun moment of clarity that we all enjoyed.
I Found God today in a happy moment with mom.
A relative sent me a message that included a link to a beautiful, prayerful song. She said it is in her Lenten worship liturgy and she adds prayers for us as they sing it each week. I feel blessed to have her prayers. And the song will be a perfect bedtime meditation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjcobfw87ng
I Found God today grateful for prayers and a beautiful song.
Mom’s had a very rough week and we’re all exhausted. Earlier in the morning, a CNA came and got her ready for the day. She ate about half her breakfast and went back to bed, where she stayed most of the day. In the afternoon, the cleaning lady came and did a wonderful job. It is such a relief to have the house clean. Later, a wonderful caregiver came. She is great with mom and a joy to have around. I was actually able to nap. Tonight I am so grateful for these ladies and all those who come to help with my mom.
I Found God today in wonderful ladies.
I heard a story today about a woman who had an aggressive type of kidney cancer and was given a few months left to live. Before the diagnosis she was a strongly independent person, in control of her own life. During the treatment she had a strong conversion experience. While she believed in God previously, she had not allowed Him to be really present in her life. A friend started visiting her and they would pray the rosary together. Several years later, she has astounded the doctors by surviving. And she thrives on her relationship and surrender to God.
I Found God today in a story of healing and conversion.
One of mom’s Hospice nurses came this morning and gave her a nice shower. I am so grateful for these ladies. Afterwards she was heading out to see her pediatric patients. I asked how hard or sad that must be. She said it is important to have the right frame of mind. She told me about a 17 year old girl she was going to visit. The girl was born with some parts of her brain missing. She was abandoned and the NICU nurse caring for her adopted her. Our Hospice nurse said instead of wondering why the girl had to be born without part of her brain, she chooses to think about what wonderful care the girl has received during her 17 years of life.
I Found God today in the blessing of caring nurses.
I wish so badly that I could alleviate all my mom’s suffering. Truth is I can’t. Nor can the doctors or nurses or people who come to help. Neither can the medications that were created by incredibly knowledgeable people. This morning’s meditation on part of the surrender novena spoke to my heart. Jesus said, “Does a patient become worse? Don’t be frightened, close your eyes and say, ‘Jesus, you take over’. I tell you again, I will indeed do it for you, and there is no medicine more powerful than my loving intervention.”
I Found God today closing my eyes and saying, “Jesus you take over.”
We had another sleepless night last night. First thing this morning I was able to talk with our Hospice nurse and we decided on a new medication strategy. Then I got a call from our caregiver company that our normal person wouldn’t be able to make it this afternoon. They did send a replacement for the day who was amazing with my mom. She was so knowledgeable and kind while being strong and confident. She just took charge while I tried to get some rest. I am grateful for Hospice and caregiver help.
I Found God today in people who help us care for mom.
The theme for the reflections and stories I have been listening to during Lent is surrendering to God. It includes the prayer, “Jesus, I surrender my life to you. Take care of everything.” Today I have been praying about what it looks like exactly to surrender to God. I take the time I can, I listen, I say the prayers – I actually started saying the surrender prayer a couple years ago. But what does that mean? Am I supposed to make no decisions at all or do anything proactive? How do I make decisions on what is best for my mom? Then I had an epiphany based on an earlier reflection. God may not tell me exactly what to do, but He is in the options and decisions. This means that I can pray about what to do, make the best loving, caring decision at the time, and trust that Jesus is still taking care of everything. No matter what I choose, Jesus is still present. He is still working for our greater good. He won’t stop.
I Found God today in an epiphany about His care.
After several nights of very little sleep, I was grateful to get a massage this afternoon. I went to a guy I had been to before, but it had been a pretty long time. He had a very different touch than the last couple people I had seen. I guess I forgot how each person has their own technique. And he seemed to intuitively get right into those areas that are so bothersome. When I was done, I felt both invigorated and like a wet noodle. For me, getting a massage on a regular basis is so necessary to keep my body functioning and I really enjoy it. I am grateful that I am able to care for myself in this way.
I Found God today in an invigorating massage.
My mother had a very challenging afternoon. Even with additional medications, she was anxious and distressed. It made me sad because yesterday I was feeling relieved that she was happier. That’s just how it goes. I was very grateful that a caregiver was here this afternoon. At one point she read today’s reflection from Jesus Calling out loud to my mom. The first sentence was, “When something in your in your life or thoughts makes you anxious, come to me and talk about it.” She told my mom that God was talking right to her and read the rest of the paragraph. We’re so blessed to have this compassionate, kind, faithful young woman as part of mom’s care.
I Found God today in an amazing caregiver.
Still Finding God 