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Forgiveness

Posted by eph21920 on November 6, 2015 in Bible, Faith, Forgiveness, Struggles

This morning I got up and ready early enough to go to church. The priest spoke about the scripture Romans 15:14-21. He talked about how important it is to be humble, to raise each other up, and to pray for others. What really touched my heart was when he said we also need to pray for those who we have battled with – maybe even hated – and to forgive. Of course, that is easier said than done. I have personally struggled with this situation. For a while I was getting pretty good about praying for those who hurt not only me, but loved ones as well. When those painful thoughts came around, I would start to pray, I tried to remember that God loves them too and constantly offers that love. It is up to each individual whether or not they accept it. Later in the day as I was running errands, the song, “Forgiveness” by Matthew West came on in the car. It caught my attention as just a little while previously, I was starting to allow some of those negative thoughts in my head. I sang along and prayed. I was grateful to be able to go to church as it always gives me a better direction for my thoughts, my actions, and my life. You can find the song HERE. The story behind the song is also very powerful. You can find that HERE.

I Found God today in a reminder of what I need to do to keep positive, hopeful, and loving.

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A Quiet Day

Posted by eph21920 on November 5, 2015 in Family, Life, Peace

It was a fairly quiet day today. I got up early, walked and exercised, made meals as usual, and talked to my sister. I got a couple things accomplished that I wanted to. Both my mom and dad were active around the house and took care of some things as well. Not much excitement. Not much happening. At this stage in the game, it was a welcomed change.

I Found God today in a quiet day.

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An Emotional Day

Posted by eph21920 on November 4, 2015 in Children, Faith, Grateful, Joy, Prayer, Struggles

Usually after one of our way too many hospital experiences, I run on adrenaline for a couple days, then exhale. Today was that day. I seemed to be teary eyed and weepy at many times during the day. This morning during my prayer time, I read a paragraph from the Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska that really touched my heart. It felt like God was speaking directly to me. Here is part of it, “A noble and delicate soul, even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most hidden things….It places its trust in God and is not confused when the time of ordeals comes…this soul passes on without fear or difficulty.” I may not pass without fear or difficulty, but I do try to put my trust in God and push through difficult trials. Later in the day, I took my mom to see her primary care doctor to follow up after her stroke. We told him the story of what happened and I started crying as we talked about her miraculous recovery. He was also amazed at how well she was doing and said that my mom is the poster child for how things can be overcome during a stroke if everyone does the right thing at the right time. He commented that is was such a gift. Back at home, we all talked about that comment and the fact that within the year through all the difficulties, my parents have been given the gift of continued longevity. My mom said she thought about that this morning, thanked God, and asked Him to let her know what she should do with the time she has been given. More tears. After a while, she played the piano – no problem. She is as she was – as if nothing happened. Choked up again. Even watching the evening news there was a story of a little girl who had a bone disease and couldn’t walk until she got a therapy dog who she is able to walk with. Tears trickled down my cheek as I watched them go to school together. I saw new pictures of my granddaughter, which always bring tears of joy. It just went on and on.

I Found God today in all the things that deeply touched my heart.

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Unique Talents

Posted by eph21920 on November 3, 2015 in Family, Grateful, Relationship

My brother has been staying with my parents for a few weeks while I was helping my sister get situated at her house with her broken leg. He helped them with all that was needed – cooking, doctor appointments, taking them to church, etc. Of course, all relationships are different, and my brother brought his own unique talents to the situation. He and my dad especially connect on a whole other level. They talked about computers, the stock market, and watched old Star Trek episodes. Not that I don’t like Star Trek, but last night we watched Dancing With the Stars. He made excellent coffee for them and taught my mom how to play a musical game on her iPad. Today he packed up his things, his dog, his dogs things, and headed off to his next endeavor. I am very grateful for his time with my parents to allow me to help my sister and to spend time with my friends when they came for a visit. I see him in a new light as we share the experiences with the family and very much appreciate his contribution.

I Found God today in the unique talents and helpfulness of my brother.

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All Souls

Posted by eph21920 on November 2, 2015 in Answer, Death, Eternity, Faith, Family, Healing, Jesus, Life, Sick

Today is All Souls Day as celebrated in the Catholic faith. It is a day to remember and pray for all those who have died and especially praying that they may enter into Heaven. I made it to Mass early this morning and started praying on my way there. I started by thinking of all the babies that I never knew as they were taken away before they could even make it out into this world – children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, and siblings. I thought of extended family – cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, in-laws, and beyond. My mind then went to friends who I wished I could have known longer. I felt like I brought them all to Mass with me as I asked God to bring them into His heavenly Kingdom. After listening to scripture, the deacon gave the reflection. He talked about the way that we love our bodies and work hard to keep then healthier. He also challenged us to think about how we are taking care of our souls – the part of us that will last forever. I thought that was very appropriate considering what we have been going through. Jesus Christ died and was raised from the dead. He promised that whoever believes in Him will do the same and live forever- amazing to think about. I am hopeful to see all those who have died in Heaven.

Later, we went to the hospital to be with my mom. We were optimistic and my mother told us that the nurse said she thought she may be able to go home today. A woman came in to administer Holy Communion, so my mom was pretty happy about that. Then a woman who had a harp came around. She came into the room and played for us – it was so soothing and calming. Then a nurse came in and did an ultrasound on my mother’s heart. Not too long after that, the neurologist visited and said that the cat scan showed everything was normal and that my mom was doing great. Before she left, she was joined by a heart doctor. They found that there is a slight leak in the 2 upper chambers of my mother’s heart. This could cause a blood clot and could have been the culprit for the stroke. She prescribed a blood thinner and released my mom to go home. We settled back into the “normal” routine. I was still in awe of the fact that my mother had a stroke 2 days ago and you wouldn’t even know it now. Before bed, we said a prayer of thanksgiving to St. Jude.

I Found God today in a reminder that this body will not last forever, but there is hope of eternal life.

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Aware of Awesomeness

Posted by eph21920 on November 1, 2015 in Eucharist, Faith, Family, Grateful, Healing, Miracle, Sick

Last night I slept a few hours straight, then woke often thinking about my mother. I made myself stay in bed until close to sunrise. Then I was up and back to hospital. She was actually speaking even better than she was when we left last night. The nurses completed neurological tests every hour all through the night. Even with a lack of sleep, my mom was functioning as normal. The doctor came in for his visit and was pleasantly surprised at her progress. We asked about the cause of the stroke and he talked of a couple possible scenarios. He pulled up the computer screen with the pictures of the CT scan and showed us where the blocked artery was. I was enthralled by the 3D image that could be turned this way and that to get a better view. He said they would like to do an MRI to get a better look at things. I learned that there are a couple different types of strokes and the medication they gave her worked only for a blood clot. The doctor spent time with us, explained things to us, and made sure all our questions were answered before he left the room. A little later a woman came in and offered prayer and Holy Communion which we were glad to share. We told her my mom had a stroke yesterday and she couldn’t believe it. After the 24 hour watch period in the ICU, my mom was transferred to a room in the stroke patient area. Her new nurse who works with stroke patients all the time said that it was rare to see such a recovery as my mom’s. She said it was the best case scenario in which everyone involved did exactly the right things in the right timing. She explained how important it is to get to the hospital right away with stroke symptoms so treatment can be effective. My mom was elated to be able to sit up, move around, and eat. After a while the physical therapist came in to assess her and was also surprised at my mom’s ability to move as she had previously. Unfortunately they were unable to do the MRI because the voltage used by the pacemaker is so high and my mom is dependent upon it. So, they did another CT scan. We look forward to seeing those results tomorrow. My dad and I left this evening exhausted but still very optimistic, incredibly grateful, and somewhat overwhelmed by my mom’s awesome recovery.

I Found God today in the continued awareness of my mom’s miraculous recovery.

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Miraculous Stroke Improvement

Posted by eph21920 on October 31, 2015 in Family, Grateful, Healing, Miracle, Sick

This morning started out like most, my mom and dad got up, took their pills, and we talked about how they were feeling. My mom has felt weak the last couple of days, but that comes and goes. She was hungry, which was a good sign. After breakfast, I was working in the kitchen and my mom went into her room. A couple minutes later I heard her call me. I went in and found her lying on the floor at the foot of her bed. I was very confused and thought at first she had been doing some exercises. She said she could not get up, so I took a hold of her and helped her. She was having trouble standing. Luckily her walker with a seat on it was nearby, so I got it over and was able to sit her in it. During this time, I asked why she was on the floor. She said it was not on purpose. She was going to the back of the room and felt too weak to make it, so she held onto the bedpost and slid down to the floor. I could hear that she was having a hard time talking, which happens sometimes with her Parkinsons. But when she sat down, I could see that this was different. Her speech was slurred and it seemed that her mouth was not cooperating. I asked her to smile for me and only the right side of her face responded. I knew this was a sign of a stroke. Not wanting to leave my mom, I yelled for my dad and he came in the room. I briefly explained what happened and that I thought she had a stroke and we needed to get her to a hospital right away. My mom said, “Call 911”, which we did. The EMT’s arrived and my mom was able to answer the questions, but with some difficulty. As they tended to her, I could see that she was declining. The ambulance arrived and they whisked her off to the hospital. My dad was going to ride with her, but as he went back inside to retrieve his hearing aides, they left without him. They wanted to waste no time. When my dad and I arrived at the hospital, the doctor was speaking to my mom who was in a pretty bad way. She was struggling to form any words, had no feeling on the left side of her body, and was loosing peripheral vision in her left eye. The doctor said the testing that they had already done showed a spot on her brain and they were fairly certain she was not getting blood to that area and having a stroke. He talked about a drug that they could give her – TPA. He said she was a very good candidate as she was there so quickly after the onset of the symptoms. The medication needed to be administered ASAP. (I later found that there is about a 3 hour window in which this medication is effective.) The drug is given through an IV and breaks up blood clots that have formed, allowing blood to flow to the part of the brain that is being blocked. The doctor said the risk was potential internal bleeding and that they would keep a close watch for that. My dad said yes – to please do what could be done. He asked my mom who nodded her head and managed to form the words, “I read about that.” They got the medication set up quickly, gave her a large dose, and hung the rest on the IV pole to continue the process. The nurse stayed in the room and went through a regimen with my mom every 15 minutes. The first few tries, everything seemed to stay the same. Then, she was able to raise her left eyebrow a bit. Her words were becoming more clear. Gradually, she started coming around. After the hour drip in the IV, she was sent to ICU to keep a close watch over her for the next 24 hours. As time passed, her speech was more understandable, her thought process was better, and she got feeling back in her left side. Her nurse in the ICU called her a TPA miracle. I asked if they see many people improve in such a dramatic way. She said unfortunately not, as most people do not get to the hospital in time. As evening came, my dad and I were exhausted so decided to head home for the night to get some good sleep. By the time we left, my mom was just about back to her normal. I am still amazed and grateful for this miraculous improvement. And I am grateful for those who continue to care for my mom.

I Found God today in being close to my mom to respond to her, in my mom’s prompting to call 911, in the EMT’s and doctors who knew just what to do, in the medical knowledge and medications that are available, and mostly in the amazing improvement that my mom showed in a short period of time.

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Remembering My Leap of Faith

Posted by eph21920 on October 30, 2015 in Begin, Connected, Faith, Family, Grateful

It was one year ago today that I left my home at the time, said goodbye to all I had known for the past 18 years, and started on a new direction in my life. A few of my belongings, a friend of mine and my dog all packed up in the rental car headed to the state where my parents live. Since I was young I told my parents that I would care for them when they got older and I was on my to fulfill that promise. As I remember the day I left, it is with mixed emotions. Of course it was very difficult to leave my friends, family, church, and job that had become an integral part of my life. I had sold my house as well as most of my possessions, or given them away. Even my car was given to my son in college. I was wading out on the water, taking a leap of faith, knowing in my heart that this was the path that God had for me at this point in my life. In some ways it seems so long ago and so much has happened. In other ways, it seems like just the other day. While I have faced many challenges, I have also had many blessings. My parents have struggled with their health, but I am grateful to be here for them and help them get through. I miss my friends and family far away tremendously, but I do my best to stay in touch with them. I also have a new found relationship with my siblings and nephew who are now much closer, every day I learn more about my parents as we continue to grow in our relationship, I have reconnected with many old friends, and have others to reach out to. I own almost nothing, yet all my needs are taken care of. And yes – I am still sure that this is the path God has for me at this point in my life.

I Found God today in reflecting on the leap of faith I took and how He continues to care for me and my family.

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Amazingly Answered Prayers

Posted by eph21920 on October 29, 2015 in Answer, Faith, Family, Prayer, Saint

As I said, yesterday was the feast day for St. Jude – the patron saint of difficult situations. Yesterday right after I went to Mass, I got into the car and got a message from my son that he was told he had one week to find a new job. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was feeling pretty good about praying the novena with my family and being able to attend Mass. When I talked to my son, he explained that his group received a new manager who basically disbanded them. I told him about it being the feast of St. Jude and to start praying right away. He said he would and already had a plan of action. He assured me that he always lands on his feet – which is pretty true. When I spoke to him later in the day, he already had a couple of interviews set up. I said several prayers throughout the day and tried not to worry – even though he just bought a new house for he and his family, including his newborn daughter. I prayed that God lead him to the job that will give them stability. I spoke to him this afternoon and he had just completed an interview that he felt pretty good about. He said it may be difficult for him to try to decide which job to take if he received multiple offers. I was thinking that perhaps God would make it very clear, so that it would not be a difficult decision. The thought was just about to come out of my mouth, when my son said he had another call coming in, so we hung up. We talked after the call. My son works for a very large company and knew a manager in another area. When the manager found out what happened, he spoke to those in authority and made the arrangements for my son to work with him if he wanted to. So – he is able to work for the same company, continue the same benefits, and actually move to a branch closer to his home. I would say that our prayers were answered speedily and in an almost unbelievable way.

I Found God today in amazingly answered prayers.

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Part of the Structure

Posted by eph21920 on October 28, 2015 in Faith, Hope, Life, Plan, Saint

My family and I have been saying a novena – 9 days of prayers – to St. Jude. He was one of Jesus’ apostles – but not to be confused with Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus. St. Jude is traditionally known as the patron saint of impossible causes. We all have asked St. Jude to intercede for us – to pray with us – to bring our petitions to God. Today is the feast day of St. Jude and I was happy to be able to go to Mass bright and early. One of the scripture readings was Ephesians 2:19-22. It talks about how we are part of the household of God with the apostles and prophets as the foundation and Jesus as the capstone that holds the whole structure together. The deacon spoke about this and explained that at the time the scripture was written, arches were commonly used in building and that the capstone is at the top. Without the capstone, or keystone, the structure would crumble. Then he told a story of a perfectly round, smooth rock in among a variety of jagged, misshapen rocks. The perfect rock felt it was better than the others and would certainly be chosen to have an important place in a structure. A builder came and chose the rock, but then he started chiseling it. This pained the rock and it was no longer perfect. When the builder had it to the shape he desired, he added it to the structure and placed one of the other rocks on it. The other rock that was jagged now fit perfectly into the jagged space created by the builder. The point was, even when I think I am perfect, God is still working on me, chiseling away, helping me  – and others – to fit perfectly into His plan and structure. Each of us needs to give another a boost. We need to hold each other up. And when I feel like I am too jagged and crooked to do any good at all, this scripture reminds me that our foundation has been set and I belong in God’s household just as much as the apostles and prophets. Now that is good news.

I Found God today in a reminder of how each of us has a part and purpose in God’s plan.

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