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Painful Yet Productive

Posted by eph21920 on September 18, 2024 in Answer, Death, Family, Grief, Healing, Struggles

Since we had the floors replaced in my parents’ room, we decided it was the time to sort through everything in there. Some of the items were painful memories of my dad’s time in the memory care center. Getting things ready to donate was also a sorrowful reminder that my mother is no longer here. But I have been trying to allow the feelings to come as I work. And I put on my Christian music and sing along. That really does help put my mind and spirit in a better place. I didn’t want to have to keep going back to the closets full of things, so I have just been plowing through. Sorting, donating, putting things aside to keep or try to sell, and organizing as I go. As difficult as it has been, it does feel good to make progress. I do feel there is healing in it.

I Found God today making some progress organizing the house.

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Watching Art

Posted by eph21920 on September 17, 2024 in Creation, Family

My sister signed up for some online painting classes. I colored a little bit last night while she painted – that fits me a little more. I went to bed before she finished and saw her water colored butterfly when I got up this morning. She is so talented. Tonight I went to dinner with friends and when I returned, she was back at the table working on her next project. I sat and watched for a while. It is relaxing for me to watch her mix and blend the colors while listening to the soft voice of the instructor. During the introduction, the instructor made the comment that nature is the best artist. I agree. God has provided us incredible beauty in nature that we can’t replicate no matter how we try.  But my sister does make beautiful art too. 

I Found God today in beautiful art.

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Bonus Adoration

Posted by eph21920 on September 16, 2024 in Eucharist, Faith, Friends, Grateful, Peace, Prayer, Priest

Although I wasn’t planning on it, I ended up going out and about today. It’s still very strange to me to be able to just go and do whatever at a moments notice. Since I was out, I thought it would be nice to stop at a church for Eucharistic Adoration for a while. But, the I decided to go to Mass where I could visit my priest friend at the same time. I was a little early, so went into the church to pray for a bit. And there on the altar was the Blessed Sacrament. I was able to spend about 15 minutes in the presence of Jesus before Mass. I didn’t really say much, or hear much. I did experience the much desired peace. It was good to see my friend celebrate Mass and listen to his words of wisdom. We visited for a little while after. I felt very blessed with his friendship, being able to attend Mass, and for the time I spent in Adoration.

I Found God today in a priest friend, in Mass, and in Adoration.

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Worship in Music

Posted by eph21920 on September 15, 2024 in Answer, Connected, Death, Eternity, Faith, Family, Grief, Hope, Music

Today at Mass, the offertory hymn got me teary eyed – so much so that I couldn’t sing any more. I tried to remember the hymn, but not surprisingly, I can’t. It was about offering what we have to Christ. The last verse was something to the effect of giving God our final breath after using it to sing His praise during our life. Of course I thought of my mother. I thought of her singing in all the different choirs during her life. And I thought about when she took her last breath. I really wanted to push that thought out of my head immediately. Instead, I remembered what my counselor suggested. I just sat with the image and feelings for a while. Then, they turned to how my mom must be singing praise right now in Heaven. That also brought tears to my eyes. Not in sadness, but in more of a how awesome that must be feeling. I was grateful to be able to switch into a more hopeful mindset. This afternoon, I listened to a Hallow podcast about prayer through music. There was a reminder that there is music and singing in Heaven right now. The saints and angels are singing. And when we sing praise, we are joining in their song. St. Augustine said that singing is like praying twice. They also talked about the transcendent nature of singing. It’s different from just listening to music. There is power when you sing the truth of God. Everything they said in the podcast was exactly what I have experienced myself and it was beautiful validation. I also knew that all those years that my mother participated in her own prayer through music is what helped form her into the saintly person that I knew her to be.

I Found God today in the power of praying through music.

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Strength

Posted by eph21920 on September 14, 2024 in Family, Happiness, Life

Today my son participated in a power lifting competition. My sister and I went this morning to watch. We saw him do the squat and break his own state record. Some of his friends were there so we visited with them too. There was some lag time between each event, so my sister and I went to lunch. We sat outside which was nice and quiet compared to the loud rock music at the sports center to help keep the lifters hyped up. After lunch, I went back to the competition. My son had a whole new set of friends there to support him and visit with. We were all impressed by the unbelievable amount of weight that people were able to pick up. But my son has always been strong. It had always been a part of him. I have always told him it was one of the gifts God gave him and to follow the path to learn how best to use it. I watched him do the bench press followed by the deadlift. He again broke his own record in the deadlift. He came in first place for his class. I was pretty proud of him. Overall, it was a blessing of a day spending time with my sister, my son’s fiancee, visiting with young people, and being amazed by the strength my son has been gifted with.

I Found God today in my son’s strength.

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Old Family Bible

Posted by eph21920 on September 13, 2024 in Bible, Connected, Family, Past, Peace

There are many treasures that I come across in this house. Today I picked up the old family Bible. It was a pretty comprehensive Bible including pictures, prayers, and maps. I found a prayer card tucked away in it from a priest’s 25 anniversary of ordination in 1973. The book also contained a place for the family history. The names and dates of the family tree were written by my mom. I envisioned her taking the careful time to write the details of the events. It warmed my heart and I felt peaceful.

I Found God today in the old family Bible.

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New Floors

Posted by eph21920 on September 12, 2024 in Answer, Grateful, Home, Job, Past, Problem

Several months ago, the toilet overflowed in my mom’s bathroom. It was a mess. Even more so as the whole master bathroom area was carpeted. The restoration company came and ripped out a big swath of the carpet, cleaned out the water, sanitized the space, cut a hole out of the ceiling below, and set their giant fans in for a couple days to dry everything. The whole experience added so much more stress to an already stressful situation. It has all stayed that way since then. We were going to remodel the bathroom to give real, usable space for my mom. However, she declined pretty rapidly after that and we never did anything. A friend of ours does flooring. Once I decided I had enough of the eyesore, I contacted him explaining that I was ready to get it done. He came over and we picked out the new flooring. He was so sympathetic and encouraging, which I didn’t really anticipate. I was grateful for his guidance and support. His guys came over today and did the work. We put carpet back in the bedroom itself, but put vinyl plank in the bathroom area. When they were done, it looked so nice, fresh, clean. I had taken a lot of things out of the room and closets to give them space to work. So now I can take my time sorting and  organizing, before things go back in. It feels somewhat liberating – moving forward in a positive way.

I Found God today getting a clean, fresh space.

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Butterflies and Flowers

Posted by eph21920 on September 11, 2024 in Birthday, Family, Joy

Today was my brother’s birthday. We – my siblings and I – sent him a little cake in a special box that had butterflies and flowers pop out when you open it. When he got home with the box, we all got on zoom so we could watch him open it. We sang him Happy birthday and prepared for the grand opening. Evidently it came with a little warning which kind of gave away the surprise, but it was still fun. When he pulled the lid off the box, butterflies on wind up rubber bands flew all around and flowers popped out. Eventually he found the little cake. It was good to share the joy.

I Found God today sharing joy and celebrating my brother.

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Blessed Family Friend

Posted by eph21920 on September 10, 2024 in Death, Friends, Grateful, Life, Relationship

Yesterday I went to visit our friend who would come play piano duets with my mom. I don’t think I had seen her since my mom’s funeral, though we talked on the phone a couple times. She asked about going to the cemetery, so we made the trip out there. On the way we stopped and picked up some flowers and a couple things from the grocery store. When we arrived, we fixed up the flowers, got the vases and water, and slowly made our way to my parents’ site. Our friend had recovered from a broken hip a few months ago and I was glad to see she was very careful on the uneven terrain. My parents’ new headstone was beautiful and the grass was placed and grown in, so it looked very nice. We said some prayers and reminisced. It was so nice to spend the time there with her. Afterwards we went to lunch. That was the usual routine – visit, play piano, go to lunch. The place we went even had free ice cream. We remembered that when it was my dad’s turn to pick the lunch place, he would choose the one with the free ice cream. We had our cones in his honor. When I dropped our friend at home, we promised to get together again and stay in touch. It was such a blessing to spend the day with her.

I Found God today spending time with a good family friend.

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Surprise Massage

Posted by eph21920 on September 9, 2024 in Friends, Generosity, Grateful

I was excited to have booked a massage for today. My daughter-in-law-to-be knows just how to get my muscles loose and how to put me into a deep state of relaxation. When it came time to pay, she said it was taken care of already. A friend of mine and her sister had decided to treat me. They live on the east coast, but had contacted my son who put them in touch with his fiancee and they worked it all out. It was quite a sneaky surprise. I felt so blessed by their thoughtfulness, encouragement, and generosity. I was double blessed as I called my friend to thank her and we were able to talk for a while.

I Found God today in thoughtful, generous friends.

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