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Good Friendships

Posted by eph21920 on December 23, 2024 in Friends, Grateful, Happiness, Life, Struggles

A friend of mine has been struggling with her health and work and life in general. She used to come out when a group of us got together, but she has been unable to for quite some time. But she has stayed in the group chat and always has funny things to share. I was happy that another friend and I were able to visit her today. She was in good spirits and we laughed a lot. She tried to be apologetic about things, but our friend reminded us both that we need to lean on our friends. Especially when we’re going through a hard time. We were just happy to be with her. I was also happy to hear that another mutual friend has been helping her out quite a bit. I felt blessed by the friendships I have.

I Found God today in good friendships.

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God’s Present

Posted by eph21920 on December 22, 2024 in Bible, Connected, Death, Family, Friends, Grateful, Grief, Life, Relationship, Struggles, Trust

I have been trying to stay in a positive mindset over the past couple days even as I seem to be very emotional. I have decided to just let the tears flow and perhaps at some point they will go dry. I have been listening to Advent music while I make yummy treats. The lyrics of certain songs make me well up with tears. So does some of the chant music. But there is something cathartic to me as I stir and melt the chocolate and carefully create different goodies. I have been sharing the treats with friends and neighbors. As we visit, there is always something in the conversation that gets to me. One neighbor shared her health struggles and trying to keep her faith. Another talked about his own grief after losing his parents and lamenting his estranged relationship with his daughter. I received a card from another neighbor whose husband is struggling, yet he made the most beautiful comments in his shaky handwriting. Prayer is always good, but also hits my heart. The tears roll as I contemplate the faith of those involved in the birth of Jesus. I confront my own fears and doubts and am comforted by Scripture or meditations that make me realize how small I am. At Mass this morning, there was an older couple in front of me. One was in a wheelchair and had to be escorted out midway through to use the restroom. Of course, I remembered doing those things with my mom. I tried to give my sorrow to God. Tonight I spent time with my sons and family for a movie night of laughter. On the way home I was joyful and grateful – tears of a different kind. All the while, I feel God’s Presence. I know He is here with me. Particularly when I’m having a rough time, I picture my parents younger and together with their families and with God. I know this will be a different and difficult Christmas, but I’m trying to do the things to keep from becoming overwhelmed.

I Found God today in His loving presence.

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Brain Health

Posted by eph21920 on December 19, 2024 in Answer, Grateful, Healing, Knowledge, Life, Struggles

A beautiful friend Shannon Desilets posted this. When I read it, I realized that it explains what was happening to my poor body and brain during the past several years caring for my parents, especially as it became more and more difficult. I literally thought I was losing my mind. Even though I was praying, uncontrollable emotions, overbearing fear, and being reactionary were all too common. But I am grateful for the people at our local Aging Center who helped me through – and continue to. I’m grateful for people like Shannon who make it their life mission to help others who are struggling so:

“I’ve spent a lot of time studying the brain in terms of stress or trauma-related impacts. This week, I’ve had the opportunity to get back to my roots a bit and engage in quite of a bit of brain health talks, was able to take a postvention training and planning session with NAMI NH, and this morning, I had the honor of presenting to the outstanding Rochester Mental Health Alliance.

I know a few people “going through it” right now. (The holidays, too, can make things more difficult for people). With this in mind, I am sharing this out about our good ole amygdala. The amygdala is the small almond shaped area of our brain. It is our fear center, regulating our fight, flight, freeze, (& fawn) responses. Trauma may impact this area, resulting in intense emotional reactions to things that aren’t a real threat, or are disproportionate. These outbursts may later lead to regret. The flood of cortisol can also last up to 8 hours, and if recurring stressors happen….
What can be done? A few suggestions (but not limited to) Seeking therapeutic modalities that can help in neuroregulation and in turn, emotional regulation. Daily suggestions to nurture the process: Adopting mindfulness practices, breathing techniques, and ensuring Vitamin B is at a healthy level. (Vitamin B helps to soothe the emotional centers by producing calming neurotransmitters).

Brain health, just as important if not MORE important, clearly, than “regular health” that brings us to our usual doctors. The ripple effect of the amygdala hijack to our bodies, our states of mind, impacting how we relate to others, how we handle conflicts and overcome obstacles … to brain health!”

I Found God today in much appreciated and insightful information from a compassionate friend.

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Crying Day

Posted by eph21920 on December 18, 2024 in Advent, Death, Eternity, Faith, Grateful, Hope, Humility, Hurt, Life, Love, Past, Prayer, Struggles

Today was very emotional for me for many reasons. When I wake up early in the mornings, I start my prayers. This morning that included listening to an Advent podcast on the Hallow app. Over the past few weeks the focus has been on a book called, “A Severe Mercy”, by Sheldon Vanauken. It is about the conversion and subsequent struggles of a young couple. Today’s entry described the death of Sheldon’s wife. The couple had given themselves over to God’s Will. After this passage, a Sister recounted the death of her father. By the end of her story I was weeping. I tried to pray through it to gain some peace, which I did eventually. As I was scrolling through my morning information, I came across the quote, “Sometimes I wish for you to come back, but I don’t want you to suffer again. I know you are with me and I will always love and miss you with all my heart.” Such truth put another lump in my throat. Later I visited a friend whose husband passed away. We shared feelings about Christmas preparation and grieving, and cried. We took solace in knowing that we understood each other. I stopped and chatted with my daughter in law. Her sister sent her a photo of her parent’s house where she grew up. It was recently sold after her mother died. We were both teary eyed. On the way home I was listening to the Christian Christmas station. Just before I got home, the song, “Different Kind of Christmas” by Mark Schultz, came on. I had never heard it before. The lyrics included such heartbreaking lines as, “There’s just a million little memories that remind me you’re not here” and “There’s one less place set at the table, One less gift under the tree, And a brand new ache to take their place inside of me, I’m unwrapping all these memories, fighting back the tears, It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year.” More crying and asking God why He was torturing me so today. The song ended with, “I realize what’s still alive is the legacy you made…It’s time to put the candles in the windows, And lights up on the tree, Its time to fill this house with laughter like it used to be, Just because you’re up in heaven, doesn’t mean you’re not near…
It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year.” Contemplating this day helped me to see things in another light. The sadness will come one way or the other. Clinging to God and the hope of His promise of an  everlasting life of love also brings emotions and tears. But they are of gratitude for the time with my parents and the life and faith they have given me. I anticipate the emotional rollercoaster to continue, and I hope to ride it with honesty and humility. I believe these struggles help me to lean on Him.

I Found God today in tears of sadness, pain, faith, and love.

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Be Kind

Posted by eph21920 on December 17, 2024 in Life, Love

I saw the quote today, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” I had seen it before, but it really struck me today. We are blessed to live in a country and time right now where there are so many options. At the same time, people can feel like they should be able to do whatever they want without considering the implications to others. And especially as we prepare for Christmas, we can get caught up in all our business without even noticing the people around us. Perhaps it would be helpful if stores and post offices and such had blinking encouraging messages such as, “Be Kind”. Anyways, this quote was a good reminder for me.

I Found God today in a reminder to be kind.

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Light of the World

Posted by eph21920 on December 16, 2024 in Advent, Angel, Baby, Bible, Music

This morning I heard the song, “Light of the World” by Lauren Daigle. It has been in my head all day. Tonight I found a video of the song that included the story of Christmas. It was beautiful.

I Found God in a beautiful song and video of the Christmas story.

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Tiny Tree

Posted by eph21920 on December 15, 2024 in Family, Grief, Home, Joy, New, Past

When I started thinking about decorating the house for Christmas, I knew I didn’t want to display the same artificial tree that I have put up for the past 10 years. My parents enjoyed it as it was pre-lit and rotated so you could admire all the decorations. I enjoyed it too for several years. But, as time went on, it got harder and harder to put together and the lights started going out. So, I knew I didn’t want to get it out again. At the same time, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do about a tree. Perhaps not get one at all since I knew I was going to be the only one in the house for Christmas. My sister had made plans to go visit her son and no one was going to come here for the holiday. I wasn’t sure I was even in a good frame of mind to do any decorating. Then, when my brother was here for Thanksgiving, we went to the racetrack to see the Christmas light display. As part of the entrance ticket, he bought me a fun light up wand. I knew right away that it needed to be a topper for a small Christmas tree. Today I bought a little table top tree that had a lovely long, sturdy top. My sister and I adorned it with lights, ribbon, and sparkly garland. Then I attached the light up wand. I added a couple of my favorite ornaments to finish it off. It was perfect. It was different. I cried. It was hard to be joyful and sad at the same time.

I Found God today just experiencing emotions.

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Cabin Christmas Party

Posted by eph21920 on December 14, 2024 in Friends, Fun, Laughter, Life, Present, Stranger

My sister and I continued celebrating the season tonight by attending the Christmas party for residents of the community where the cabin is. There were some people there that we recognized, but we sat with a couple who had only lived there for a few months. They moved from Chicago and were originally from Poland. They both had strong accents and were very friendly. We all enjoyed getting to know one another. After dinner which was serve yourself taco bar, there was a white elephant gift exchange – yankee swap for those on the east coast. As is typical, there were some great gifts and some odd ones. For whatever reason, my sister had her gift “stolen” 3 different times. But she ended up with the nice charcuterie board that she really wanted. The people there were all so nice and had a lot of fun with each other. It was a jovial atmosphere and I laughed a lot. At the end of the party, I exchanged information with our new friends and look forward to seeing them when we go up there again. It was a very different event from the other night and a blessing in a different way.

I Found God today making new friends.

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The Madrigals

Posted by eph21920 on December 13, 2024 in Connected, Faith, Family, Food, Generosity, Grateful, Grief, Life, Peace

Last night my sister and I attended the Madrigal Banquet and I have been pondering it all day. It was held at a castle nestled back against the foothills, which belonged to one of the founders of the city. It had many technologically advanced features for the time such as an elevator and a steam shower. Over the years, a Christian group acquired the property and held conferences there. This year was the 35th year that the Madrigals Banquet was held. Our neighbors have been volunteering there for several years. This year, they gifted my sister and I tickets to the banquet. When my sister and I arrived, we were greeted by a bagpipe player and others who were dressed in 1600’s attire. The outside of the castle was beautifully lit. We were ushered into the main gathering area, which was adorned with Christmas decorations. As we snacked on hors d’oeuvres, a group of 4 singers came in and entertained the crowd. My sister and I tried to take selfies by the Christmas tree, but they didn’t turn out too well. A couple came over and tried the same thing, so I offered to take their photo. I complimented the woman as to how stunning she looked and we chatted a bit. Then the “Lord and Lady” welcomed everyone and we were escorted upstairs to the main dining hall. There were several long tables that held the 150 guests. It just happened that the couple we met by the Christmas tree were seated right next to us. We got to talking more as we waited for everyone to get settled. We told them that we were gifted the tickets by our generous neighbor. The woman said that they were gifted the tickets as a wedding present – they just got married this past July, which was probably part of why she looked so stunning. When I pointed out our neighbor who was there volunteering, the woman knew him. They were friends from church and he was the one who gave them the tickets. We got talking with the people on the other side of us as well. Come to find out, they used to attend the same church as the other couple and knew the man who introduced the newlyweds. It was all just an amazing connection. The food was served in courses – soup, salad, main dish, dessert. Everything was interesting, beautifully presented, and delicious. Between courses there was music, singing, and dancing. At one point the meal was “interrupted” by a disgruntled man demanding to know why there could be any festivities when the world is in such shambles. The “Steward” explained that there is hope especially at Christmas time when we celebrate the birth of our Savior who came to set us free from the sorrows and difficulties of this life. Then, several individuals gave a brief example of their current struggles. The first person said that her mother had recently died. I wasn’t prepared for that and my eyes welled with tears. The “Steward” continued explaining that even though we live in a broken world, Jesus Christ can provide peace. The man who burst in softened and apologized as he left to contemplate further. That was also more than I anticipated. I knew there was a spiritual piece to the evening, but didn’t really know what to expect. The whole experience was quite moving as God showed His hand in so many ways.

I Found God today experiencing a God led Madrigals Banquet.

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Sharing Mom’s Memories

Posted by eph21920 on December 12, 2024 in Connected, Friends, Grateful, Grief, Life, Past

A few days ago I sent out Christmas cards and notes to everyone on my mom’s list. Honestly, I couldn’t remember exactly who I talked to after she died. So, I had to break the news to those who we only heard from once or twice a year now. Today I received a text from a woman who used to be our neighbor here in the city about 55 years ago. I remembered playing with her children when I was a kid. The note was unexpected and caught me off guard as I cried reading it. She was so sad to hear of my mom’s passing and had such kind things to say about her. She also shared words of encouragement for me. We wanted to get together last year, but she had health problems as well. We texted back and forth a couple of times as we shared family updates. I hope to visit her after Christmas. I felt very blessed to have the conversation with her and share memories of my mom and family.

I Found God today sharing my mom’s memories with a long time friend.

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